Taxes and death

I am fuming right about now. It's all about those dastardly property taxes which I waited 'til the last minute to pay because I didn't (and still don't for that matter) have the money to pay them any earlier. I transferred what little money I had in my savings to my checking acct so I could pay down a credit card and free up enough "available balance" to pay the #$%&! taxes, then attempted to pay the taxes online. It wouldn't accept the credit card payment because, naturally, the online payment I just made will not post until tomorrow and the funds will not be "available" until Thursday. Tomorrow means an additional $230 in penalties added to the already high taxes. So now my little savings is tied up on the credit card, and I can't "cancel" that and just pay the minimum balance like I would otherwise have done. I even called customer service for the credit card and asked about a credit line increase just to free up enough available balance to pay the taxes. I was declined. Conclusion: Being poor and drowning in debt sucks!
Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel and just taking the next available 9 to 5 wherever to help pull us out of this slump. Even though I KNOW things will be better a year from now once I'm done with school and gainfully employed (I hope, I hope), I honestly don't know if I can survive another year of this! I feel frustrated as #&!! and that lowers my tolerance/patience for everyone around me. Mike is outside watching the kids swim (thanks to my trips back & forth to Leslie's Pool Supply and my being up scrubbing & scooping junk out of the pool for an hour an a half every morning in the 6 o'clock hour for the past week while they're gone or asleep!). Meanwhile, I'm trying unsuccessfully to make a dollar out of 15 cents and pay bills that keep coming whether Mike works overtime or not, whether we have the money to pay them or not. We're waiting for the "amended income tax return" from H&R Block, but haven't seen hide nor hair of it. Unless Mike grabbed the check out of the mail thinking it was one of his savings bonds and stashed it away in a shoebox somewhere without opening it as he so often does with the bonds. See there-I'm blaming Mike and getting all angry at him with no real grounds to do so. I checked out irs.gov and discovered I could check on the status of the amended return, but I need the exact amount. Do you think I can put my hand on the copies of the paperwork? Missy is sitting by the door whimpering because she wants to be outside with the kids, but I won't let her--no time to doctor on her paws when she tears them up running around the deck. I'm about to let her have it, too, just 'cause I'm in a bad mood. (In the world of nursing, this is an unhealthy coping mechanism-kick the dog because you can't kick your boss who is the true source of your ire.) Speaking of nursing, it's not like I should be studying for my final which is the day after tomorrow and covers about 12 chapters.
I think I'm going to fix breakfast for dinner (breakfast sausage and chicken nuggets are the only "meat" in the house) and go bury my head in the sand and call it a day. It's times like this I wish I had my own bed in my office. If Mike so much as looks my way, I may scratch his eyes out. I am not good company. Deep breath in…and hold it…and slowly breathe out. Okay, so now I’m only simmering instead of fuming. I am still not good company. Good night. Until next time...