Yesterday was a tough day for our family. After being discharged from the hospital a week ago Saturday and placed in one rehab and then another two days later, my FIL was readmitted to the hospital with unexplained bleeding from the rectum late Thursday night. The GI doctor came in to speak to three of my sisters-in-law and me yesterday evening. He explained that the cause of the bleeding was unknown and he could do any number of diagnostic tests such as a colonoscopy or endoscopy, but that they may cause more discomfort for my FIL than benefit. After all, even if they found cancer or another problem would we, the family, want to take extraordinary measures--chemotherapy, radiation, surgery--when they more than likely wouldn't do much to improve his health? Anyone looking at my poor, frail shell of a father in law knew the answer was "no." Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. I have seen the signs of disengagement for weeks now-dramatic weight loss, refusal to eat, difficulty getting around, loss of independence, disinterest in dialysis. At age 84, my FIL, whom I simply adore, has accepted that he has run a good race and is ready to cross the finish line. He’s not interested in another lap around the track, and I don’t blame him. He longs to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done." My mind wants this for him, too, but somehow my heart is a little slower in accepting the reality that lies ahead. My sisters-in-law made the decision to transfer him to the hospice unit of the hospital this evening where he will receive comfort measures only. No more dialysis means death is surely imminent. The doctor said it may be a matter of days or a matter of weeks...no one can know for sure. I'm praying that it is only days if not hours because I want my FIL’s last days to be peaceful. I don't want him to get to the point that he is suffering and in undue pain and totally dependent on morphine around the clock to be at rest. Please keep my FIL, Mendola White, and our family in your prayers during this most "mixed up feelings" of times.