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Sunday, November 21, 2010

Comfort measures only

Yesterday was a tough day for our family.  After being discharged from the hospital a week ago Saturday and placed in one rehab and then another two days later, my FIL was readmitted to the hospital with unexplained bleeding from the rectum late Thursday night.  The GI doctor came in to speak to three of my sisters-in-law and me yesterday evening.  He explained that the cause of the bleeding was unknown and he could do any number of diagnostic tests such as a colonoscopy or endoscopy, but that they may cause more discomfort for my FIL than benefit.  After all, even if they found cancer or another problem would we, the family, want to take extraordinary measures--chemotherapy, radiation, surgery--when they more than likely wouldn't do much to improve his health?  Anyone looking at my poor, frail shell of a father in law knew the answer was "no."  Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back.  I have seen the signs of disengagement for weeks now-dramatic weight loss, refusal to eat, difficulty getting around, loss of independence, disinterest in dialysis.  At age 84, my FIL, whom I simply adore, has accepted that he has run a good race and is ready to cross the finish line. He’s not interested in another lap around the track, and I don’t blame him. He longs to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done."  My mind wants this for him, too, but somehow my heart is a little slower in accepting the reality that lies ahead.  My sisters-in-law made the decision to transfer him to the hospice unit of the hospital this evening where he will receive comfort measures only.  No more dialysis means death is surely imminent.  The doctor said it may be a matter of days or a matter of weeks...no one can know for sure.  I'm praying that it is only days if not hours because I want my FIL’s last days to be peaceful.  I don't want him to get to the point that he is suffering and in undue pain and totally dependent on morphine around the clock to be at rest.  Please keep my FIL, Mendola White, and our family in your prayers during this most "mixed up feelings" of times.

14 comments:

  1. Oh, Eastlyn...I wish I could hug you! I am sorry to hear about your FIL. Making those decisions can never be easy...I'll say a prayer for your dear FIL and for you.

    Hugs...

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  2. I'm so sorry, My prayers are with you today...

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  3. Eastlyn, I am so sorry to read this. It's always hard to say good-bye no matter how long the life span. I'm praying with you, that the lord will welcome him quickly and that he will not suffer.

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  4. My prayers are going out to you, your family, and your husband's family. Such a hard time but even tougher with the Holidays. I pray for strength in this time for your family. And comfort for your dear father in law. Prayers going up in SC from the Price Family.

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  5. it is good that he is at peace..and he knows where he is going..i will keep all of you in my prayers!
    thanks for stopping by my blog!!

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  6. Oh Eastlyn. . .

    Here's a big hug for you and your family.

    I've been thru this with my grandfather and mother in law. It is exhausting and heart wrenching.

    My prayers are with you all.

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  7. Oh my goodness! You poor thing, I am so sorry to hear this! It is a strange moment in ones life when you hope for a smooth passing for a family member yet, still wish to keep them with you as long as possible. I completely understand the mixed emotions you are experiencing. I felt the same for my aunt as I watched her in Hospice while she lost the battle to breastcancer. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope that he finds the peace he needs and hasn't had because of his failing body! I know that this will seriously effect your holidays but I do hope that you all will have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Hang in there girl!

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  8. My prayers are with you and your family Eastlyn. I understand how your mind is at ease with his passing but your heart still wants to hold on...May his exit bring peace and comfort both for him and your family. (So sorry this is happening around the holidays too...) Please take care.

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  9. Oh no - I will keep your FIL and your entire family in my prayers. What a tough thing to go through and it makes it especially difficult that you have to make decisions when your heart is breaking. I'm so sorry.

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  10. My prayers are with you and your family! I am so sorry to hear that your father in law is going through this! Take care Eastlyn.

    Mama Hen

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  11. Thank you all for your warm and endearing comments, blog buddies. I cannot tell you all how much I appreciate your prayers and support. My FIL is still hanging on. He rests a lot and is not in pain for which I'm eternally grateful. My SIL is arranging for us to celebrate Christmas with him this afternoon. I will let you all know how that goes.

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  12. Oh Eastlyn, I'm so sorry to hear about your FIL. I do hope he is resting comfortably and enjoying peaceful visits from his loved ones. Hope you and your family are finding peace during such a hard time. Thanks for the anniver. wishes. Thinking of you.....

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  13. I'm so sorry Eastlyn. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. I hope you and your family find some peace. :(

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